Why Validation is Important

What is Validation?

When people hear the word validation, it tends to come with a negative connotation. The Oxford English Dictionary defines validation as …

val·i·da·tion /ˌvaləˈdāSH(ə)n/
Definition
: recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.

And the example sentence is: “They have exaggerated needs for acceptance and validation.”

An ‘exaggerated need’ sounds negative. Like they *shouldn’t* need acceptance or validation. Why is wanting affirmation that your feelings or opinions are valid and worthwhile a bad thing? Especially when they are proud of something they have achieved? Perhaps I am reading too much into it. I don’t think that I am when you read quotes like this…

Seeking validation will keep you trapped. You don’t need anyone or anything to approve of your worth. When you understand this, you’ll be free.” — Unknown

  • I don’t feel trapped. I don’t feel the need for approval from others to feel my worth. I am free. And I still want validation...

When you depend on people to build you up, they’ll have the same power to break you down. You don’t need their validation to know your worth.” — Keen Jacobs

  • I don’t depend on others to build me up, but it feels great when they do. I have given people the power to tear me down, but I am in a place I feel strong enough to know my worth and not let them. I will still let others build me up if they so choose.

The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most learned individual on the planet.” — Mohadesa Najumi

  • I am a woman who ‘requires’ validation, and I am a ‘learned individual’. I am, however, not the ‘most learned individual on the planet!’

Everything changes when you begin to love yourself. You no longer send out the energy of desperation or need to be filled from the outside. You become a powerful source within yourself that attracts better. The more you love who you are, the less you seek validation and approval.” — Jazz Zo Marcellus

  • Everything did change when I began to love myself. I love myself more than I have ever loved myself before, and I still feel good when receiving validation. Does that make desperate?

Synonyms: Validate, confirm, corroborate, substantiate, verify, and authenticate all mean to attest to the truth or validity of something. (positive connotations)

The synonyms are all positive words. So why do people think validation is a bad thing?

Why Do I Need It?

I need validation to help remind me that I am appreciated, talented, and have something to offer. When I am validated, I feel motivated, happy, excited. I don’t expect it — that leads to disappointment — I don’t depend on it to feel my worth — I am worthy. I don’t even need it to continue pursuing my dreams — I am doing that on my own… but receiving validation helps exponentially when I get it, specifically from my loved ones.

Being bipolar brings another level to it. It may create a deeper desire for validation than most because of how my brain process information. I’ve also had to deal with many invalidating comments when it comes to being bipolar so my sensitivity may be heightened from past experiences.

Natasha Tracy puts it really well when she said.

“Validation is so simple. Validation of a bipolar experience is simply a recognition that the person’s experience is real and really is part of bipolar disorder. For example, maybe you got angry with your loved one, unfairly, because of bipolar disorder. When you come back to apologize, if the loved one is able to acknowledge the part that bipolar played in your behavior, that is validation. It’s not that your unfair anger was okay, it’s not, it’s just that part of your behavior was directly impacted by something outside of your control.

Another example of bipolar experience validation is when a person empathizes with your struggle to do daily activities like showering, and they acknowledge that what is stopping you is an illness that you can’t control.

Not validating someone’s bipolar experiences is when someone says something like, “You’re just faking it.” Or when someone says something like, “You’re just lazy.”

Not validating a bipolar experience is when someone tells you that what you’re experiencing isn’t real and they also, typically, tell you it’s not part of bipolar disorder but is some sort of flaw in you. Obviously, when people tell you this, you start to feel very bad about yourself and maybe even doubt your own experiences and your illness.” reference

What Can You Do?

Simple statements make others feel validated and appreciated. A simple sentence delivered with sincerity is what matters.

“Great job, I really liked … “

“Thank you for …”

“I’m happy you are in my life.”

“I appreciate it when you…”

Ever since I have started my blog, people have been so kind. I’ve received so much positive feedback and encouragement it makes my heart full. It makes me want to continue. Want to reach people all over. I want to help someone out there who may be struggling with similar struggles I’ve dealt with.

I am truly thankful for every person who has given me kind words of encouragement, liked/comment on my posts, and “waved” on my blog. All those small things mean the world to me. If you want to help in any way, please share my posts when/if you would like.

Peace ❤

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Allie Lowry

Allie Lowry

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Mental health and recovery are important topics to discuss to end the stigma. I am here to talk about my experiences and hope to help others.